
Calling All Angels.
Back when Bill was dying, I used to listen to this song by Jane Siberry and K.D Lang a lot; it was important to me then, it was a balm to my heart. I listened to it over and over and over...
So, why am I thinking of this song again now? There are several reasons.
First, I think, is that I have just come out of a terrible fog; my allergies, always to tree pollen and usually in control in 2 or 3 or so weeks went on for two months and got worse every week. I kept thinking, "Well, this is it, next week I'll be better."
But it didn't get better, it got worse, and then worser. In fact, it got to the point that I didn't understand how bad it was. I was living in a total fog. I did fine at work, in fact very well, but the rest of my life was a blurr. I finally saw a doctor, got a shot and some medicine and suddenly, I was back on earth! Looking back on the time before the doctors appointment, well, I can't really imagine how I got through that time; I was soooo far out of reality, deprived of sleep and just plain sick, like all of the time.
How did it get so wierd? Well, just day by day; after a while you just don't notice how bad it's gotten. I decided to get a Kenalog shot, which is a steroid. Someone said, "OMG! That's a steroid!" And I thought, in my intense misery that I would gladly purchase this drug in a parking lot if necessary.
I went to an allergist, got that shot and an antihistamine that seems to be working O.K. and a wildly expensive nasal spray. I also had a very serious sinus infection; I had no real idea how bad. The antibiotic that I took knocked me out for 12 hours.
So, now it's all much better. Not all gone, but very much better. I am going back to the allergist to do the immunotherapy shots; once a week I get an injection of what I am allergic to, each week in slightly higher dose I can tolerate the local air. This takes months of weekly injections, but it worked very well for me 15 years ago, so I am going to do it. There's no way I can go through another season like this one. (The funny thing is that the dessert is supposed to be an allergy clear zone, but so many trees were planted here that are not supposed to be here that it is much worse).
So, during my foggy time, I woke up every ninety minutes or so, and there was Bill, in my dreams, no surprise really there.
Now here's another thing. Next Friday, I am going to San Antonio for a weekend and Of course, I will be seeing Sue, Bill's sister. It's Fiesta time in San Antonio, and Danny, my hair guy in S.A. and a friend of Sue's is a sponsor of a big AIDS Services fund raiser at the Museum of Modern Art. So, I am going to be there and there's no way that the past won't come floating in. The theme is A night in Oz and you would think that I could easily find a black t-shirt with the letters O Z on it, but no! I will try to make one tonight and see if CafePress can get it to me by Thursday.
So the good news is.... I am loving my job again and doing very well at it again, not that it ever got noticeably bad. I am going to start teaching cheese classes; I realized that I can talk without notes or rehearsal for about an hour non stop, so why not just do it? I'll do TV again, if it's offered.
Late June, I'll be spending a week with my family on Cape Cod, not too near Province Town, but not that far away either. We will probably do a trip to Martha's Vineyard to see the oldest carrousel in the U.S., which will make me totally wet. It will be a full week and I am so ready for it! I love the time I get to spend with my family, and especially the time I get to spend with my Dad because there is little enough left ot that.
In the meantime, things are fine. Luca and I didn't make to the pig races at the Clark County Fair; the weather was nasty, a rare occurance, and that was enough to cancel the trip.
Cheers, and happy times!