This last Thursday...

I dreaded doing jury duty. I just didn't want to do it! O.K. I know it's a civic duty, a price I am supposed to pay for my freedom, a responsibility that I have to fulfill in order to be part of a just society. But, I still didn't want to do it. I was very busy, and couldn't afford the time, (there was only one day of paid time off for this...). And the idea of hanging around with possible criminals and their lawyers on one or more of my days off did not appeal to me in the slightest way. Worst of all there was no way I could avoid it.

I went the first day feeling low and mean and very sleepy, and much to my dismay, everyone was very nice to me; they thanked me for coming, calmly explained what was required of me and apologized if there was any inconvenience. A judge came to the prospective jury waiting room and told us why it was important for us to be there, and he apologized for our inconvenient circumstances and made a few lame jokes about it, but you could hardly fault him for his efforts to make us feel that we were important to the legal process. But I was out of there by one PM that day, all the courts, but one had settled without a jury.

The next day I went, Thursday...
...was different. After an hour and a half, I was called with a 50 person jury group to a court room. So we went up and sat down. They called the first thirteen and the judge explained what was going to happen, (spending a great deal of time about how it would not "be like Perry Mason", something that I think was lost on about half of the prospective jurors), but still putting the point across that the defendant was innocent and that it was up to the prosecution to convince us that the defendant was guilty, instead of the defense proving that he was innocent.

They called the first thirteen prospective jurors and started to interview them. The judge asked each one, in turn, if they had any friends or relatives in law enforcement, if they or any close friends had been victims of a crime and if that would make them unable to make a fair judgement in the case. Finally, he asked if they would be able to apply the law to their understanding of the case and make a fair judgement. Everyone answered in turn.

Then the prosucution talked to each of the prospectice jurors, and then the defense attorney, each of them making litle jokes along the way as they talked about the various points that might be covered in the case.

Then the judge told everyone that if they were not picked for the trial, they shouldn't feel bad; someone else just got picked. And for those who were picked, well, they should feel honored.

I'm sitting among the crowd of the un-picked and thinking "if they just take these first 13, I can be out of here in another thirty minutes! But no.

Half of the first group are excused and they call another thirteen, of which I am one. So, I am sitting there in the jury box and I am finally starting to think about how I really feel about it. And then the judge is asking me; "Are any of your relatives or friends in law inforcement?"

"No, there are not."

"Have you or any of your close friends or relatives been victims of a crime?"

"Yes. I have been mugged and robbed. Two of my employees at a business that I owned were robbed at gunpoint and eight of my close friends have been robbed at gun point at one time over the last decade."

"Would this prevent you from making a fair judgement in this case?"

"Well, no..."

"You don't sound very sure..."

"Well, I've been thinking about this as these questions came up and I'm not sure how I feel."

The judge then went into a few minutes of explaination of what was really happening in the court and in the end I had to say,

"I can be fair in this." and then he went on to the next person.

I thought it was a slam dunk; the prosecution might want me, but the defense would drop me like a poison snake.

But during the cross with both the prosecution and the defense lawyer, it was like I was the hit of the social season. "You do retail? What Kind?" "Grocery." "Oh! Which one?" "Whole Foods Market." "Do you have a brother?" "Yes." "Do you all maybe get together and write stories?" (This with a wink from the defense lawyer, expecting a laugh...). "No. No, we do not." (I said it, totally dead pan, which amused the judge a bit, and apparantly the defense lawyer as well, since I was picked for the jury).

Then we broke for lunch, a cold version of Five Happiness' "Boneless Chicken with gummy strange rice with shrimp that is supposed to look like fried rice, but is definitely not really fried rice, but it's good enough for jurors since we got the contract". I was hungry by then, so I ate it, but I am going to have a word with Paggy Lee from Five Happiness next time I see her. (Yeah, that's really her name... Paggy Lee.)

The details of the case (armed robbery) were many and would take a long time to relate, but basically, the defense never said that their guy didn't do it, (he was wearing a jacket with his name embroidered on it, he was so there, and with a gun...) just that he didn't actually get any money, so they hoped that we as a jury would reduce the charge from armed robbery to attempted armed robbery, a lessor charge with less time. There was one other odd detail that was presented without too much comment by the prosecutor. But it was there and it quietly pointed to prior trangressions, but that wasn't our concern.

It took 15 minutes for our jury, precisly divided between black and white, male and female to finish the deliberation, and five of those minutes were for deciding on the foreman, who politely demured at first, and then finally accepted his post. We were of one accord; the fact that he robbed someone at gunpoint and didn't actually get anything did not change the fact that he did the crime. And then we were excused and then I went to work and worked until 10 PM.

And back to work at 8 ayem... I was tired at the end of that next day, but, well... it just wasn't as bad as I thought it would be doing jury duty. There was that moment, each time as we gathered by the door to the courtroom, and the man said, "Please rise for the jury!" and we walked in and everyone else was standing, waiting for us to take our places. That was O.K. We were given respect. It was up to us to decide the merits of the prosecutions' case and make a decision that would greatly affect the defendant, and the victim as well.

As I was leaving work today I told a bit of the story to one of our detail cops, a very charming and very handsome man. (He's gorgeous...and a really smart cop... Davo and Glennie know which one...) He's very clever and knows a great deal about what goes on in the city. He said, "You all did convict, right?" I told him that we did.

He smiled and said, "You did right."

I've got two more days to serve, Tuesday and Thursday. I don't dread them so much any more.


July 22, I leave for the American Cheese Society Conference, but there's a few problems with travel arrangements. For one, I can't seem to find a room for the third night, Saturday. Apparently it is also the day of the Milwaukee Mousquuito Slapping Contest, or some such other major Wisconsin event and there are no rooms available! I may have to stay at the airport that night! But I'd sleep in the subway, darlin', (if they had one) for one night, because I love cheese! We'll see.

And, another chat with luca this evening about our upcoming road trip... he keeps mentioning "area 51" and how much he would like me to meet some of his family.