Well, I just thought of two Ken stories...

...and they aren't all that long, but they are a good introduction to Ken.

Ken used to live near the river...
..in an area that was up and coming; people were renovating the bungalos and Creole cottages, the property values were rising. But there was a problem; a few local crack dealers had taken over the payphone at the end of the block. Someone was always there, deals were done and ocassionally someone was shot to death. The new upscale residents found this distressing; they were worried about the property values, and also, somewhat for their lives. So they banded together and got a petition up to send to South Central Bell asking that this payphone be removed due to it's bad influence on the neighborhood. SCBell responded with a lot of crap about freedom of speech, but in fact they were not going to remove a profitable payphone. Some of the more daring of the group damaged the phone, but because it was such a profitable payphone, it was always repaired immediately! One or two of the neighbors were so upset that they actually talked to Ken about this problem, even though he was just a lowly renter and did not own any property.

His solution was so simple and sooo neat, and as he loves to say, "so convenient, I could do it in a few extra minutes on my way home from work!"

Ken would carry with him, a plastic bag and as he passed the little park where every one of the new property owners walked their dogs, he would select the freshest dog do and then carry it down the rest of the block to the pay phone where he would proceed to wipe it all over the hand set, then hang the phone up, toss the plastic bag into the bushes near by and turn the corner for home. He did this everyday for two weeks and at the end of the month, Bell South yanked the phone. No more nasty drug dealers.

The neighbors all congratulated them selves on their hard work to rid the area of the bad drug dealers. Not one of them knew what Ken did and he didn't care. He told me whistfully, "God, durlx! They are all so dumb! I feel sorry for them, no not sorry... I pity the poor fools! But I had to do something, you know, someone has to watch out for them." And then he said, "Thank you, durlx, I will have another shot of vodka!" (Many of the Ken stories end with this same line.....)

There was another evening...

...when Ken and I were sitting at the bar enjoying a particularly diverse selection of adult beverages and he turned to me, (he is deaf in one ear, so he always turns towards you to speak), and said, "You know, durlx, I'm getting older... Since I am no longer pretty, I've decided to try and be popular!" And then he laughed hysterically, maniacally for several minutes.

The really funny thing is, that he did exactly that.

Now, I know these two charming tales might get you to thinking that Ken is just a sweet, funny, offbeat sort of guy. A harmless, goofy amusing sort of person. OMG! You would be so wrong!!! Run, run for your lives! It's much deeper and darker than that. And much more amusing...

Ken, My "Colorist", Psychic and Friend.



Ken, my dear friend, came over today to "do" my hair as he has done for many years. After looking at the pic above, you might wonder why anyone would let him get near their face with a pair of very sharp scissors! But I assure you, it's safe, (as long as he has decided that he likes you...hehe.) Ken is a very remarkable individual and in the years I have known him, I have been furious with him, delighted with him, in tears with him... we've been thrown out of bars together... oh, there's another lot of stories... In the pic above, he showed up at my friend (and his) Margaret's house on Thanksgiving to help serve the meal. His outfit for the day was fairly normal, except for the fake tits... Ken always throws something into the mix! And he can not lie, which always starts all kinds of trouble, but those of us who know him and have grown to love him can't help but laugh. He's always right, in what he says, no matter how many bloated egos explode.


And he loves his mama.
Ken and his mom, on her 83rd birthday.


Where you paying attention? The woman is 83 and the party was held at The Phoenix, the neighborhood gay bar. She is amazing; last fall she almost died, Ken was called home, it was supposed to be the end. Well, she's 85 now and she just recently started driving again! (Listen to me now, children. If you have good genes, you have everything! If you don't all the granola in the world won't save you.)

Ken's Mom at Christmas two years ago.
Ken and Margaret in background.


Look at her! She was so fabulous that day! (Ken told me the night before, Christmas Eve, as we were having a drink with his Mom at The Phoenix, that he was going to do the "Katherine Hepburn thing" for his mom for Christmas Day.) What a good son! He let all her beauty shine through.

Ken is very good at this sort of thing. Now, do you wonder why I let him cut my hair?

There are a great many "Ken stories". And all those Margaret stories. I've got to write them. There's just so much there that would be fun to tell, and to read.

Do you think I could get a grant?

Greg The Bunny

Tonight I watched the new show Greg The Bunny on Fox and I have to say that it was all right. I read a review that said the show gets funnier as it goes along, and I hope that's true, because the bunny is cute, and so is Seth Green. I've had a soft spot (or sould I say hard spot...) for Seth for years. Before he did anything big, he did a local commercial here in the New Orleans area that was so popular that one of the phrases he used became part of a cheer at Saints games and he actually made an appearence at one of the games. He's done a lot of films and TV since then, including both Austin Powers movies.

He's just as cute as a button, and you can read all about him on his official site.




Princess Stephanie

Princess Stephanie and her beloved.


The weekend of the St. Joseph parade, I ran into Princess Stephanie. But then, I always run into the princess whenever I go out for an evening of fun. I don't know how she does it, but she is always everywhere and anywhere that something fun is happening. One couple that we were out with said that they had recently run into her in Atlanta, and one after another, people started recounting P.S. sightings. When does this gurl sleep? This particular evening, the princess was there to compete in the Miss Trailer Park contest at the Good Friends Bar. Unfortuntely, I have no pictures; the crowd was simply too dense for me to get anywhere near the stage.

Princess Stephanie has branched out into the field of journalism. She writes a column for The Whiz Magazine, one of those pocket sized bar guides that has all the weekly gay New Orleans activities listed. If you're coming to town, it's an invaluable resource (should I be unable to personally escort you about...) and if you attend any of the special events listed, you're very likely to see Princess Stephanie in the flesh. Tell her durlx sent you.